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Wellness a year ago

Gee Takeover: Coach Carey On Building & Boosting Confidence

Meet Coach Carey!

In awareness of Mental Health Month, we sat down with 3x Certified Life and Confidence Coach Raia Carey (aka Coach Carey) to take over the #GeeEdit blog.

From how to instill confidence in others and how to pick yourself back up again to her go-to jams for a mood boost, Raia is talking all things confidence!

What are some small practices that we can do daily to cultivate confidence long-term?

Let me give you 3 of my tried & true practices.

#1. Practice gratitude: Each day, taking some time even if just for a few moments to reflect on what you are grateful for. Keep this in a journal, in your notes app, in a jar. It’s important to find a place for these so you can look back on this list when you’re having a tough day. 

Focusing on the things you love, and that are going well  aspects of your life can help you feel more  grounded and fulfilled. It will help shift your mindset into a more open, positive state. HOT TIP: don’t repeat the same 3 things that you’re grateful for every day. It’s so important to switch it up & actively seek out new things to be grateful for! 

#2. Set small goals and FOLLOW THROUGH: Setting small goals for yourself and achieving them can give you a sense of accomplishment and boost your confidence. Start with small, achievable goals, and gradually work your way up to bigger ones. This will build self-trust, which in turn, builds your confidence. You’ve done it before– you can do it again! 

#3. Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial for building confidence. What does the best version of you do? What do they look like? What can you do to bridge the gap? A note here: self CARE and self SOOTHING are two separate things. Self-care is a lifelong long-term commitment to yourself. It is how you will build your resilience and your confidence. Self soothing is what you do for immediate relief from an intense emotion/situation. It can be a part of your self-care routine, but it shouldn’t be the only part of it. 

Building confidence is a gradual process, and it's important to be patient and kind to yourself along the way. By practicing these small habits daily, you can cultivate confidence and feel more empowered in all areas of your life. Looking for more tips? Head over to my website and grab my confidence workbook.

Do you have any tips for how someone could work to strengthen their confidence?

Identify and challenge negative self-talk: Negative self-talk can be a major barrier to confidence. I think we’re all fairly familiar with negative talk like “I’m stupid, I don’t deserve this, I’m ugly etc..” but there are also ‘sneakier’ negative talk. Words like “should” eg; I ‘should’ go to the gym can be negative too. Try switching that out for “I get to, I want to, I’m excited to..”  

Honor your boundaries: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries can help you feel more confident and in control. It's okay to say no to things that don't feel right for you, or that don't align with your values. Remember that your needs and boundaries are important, and you have the right to advocate for them.

Celebrate your wins: Focusing on your wins and accomplishments can help boost your confidence. Take time to reflect on your talents and skills, and celebrate your successes, big and small. 

Seek support: Don't be afraid to ask for support from trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional. Having a support system will help you build confidence and navigate challenges.

Identify negative thoughts or beliefs you have about yourself and challenge them with evidence to the contrary.” - Raia 'Coach' Carey
We all have our down days, how do you approach them so that you're able to overcome it?

When we're having a down day, it's important to be gentle with ourselves and allow ourselves to feel the emotions that come up. One way to approach this is to sit with the emotion and allow it to happen, without judgment or resistance. This means acknowledging and accepting the emotion, rather than trying to push it away or ignore it. Once we allow ourselves to feel the emotion, we can begin to process it and move through it.

Other things that can help overcome a down day include reaching out to supportive friends or family members, engaging in self-care activities like exercise or meditation, and practicing gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of our lives.

Our culture is so fast-paced, and there’s a lot of pressure to be ‘productive’ and positive. Taking care of ourselves during those times and making space for rest & reflection is key. 

It’s important to remember that it's okay to have down days, they are necessary!” - Raia 'Coach' Carey
What's a tool that we can keep in our back pocket that can help to boost confidence in others?

One powerful tool that can help boost confidence in others is the use of genuine compliments. A well-timed and sincere compliment can be a simple and effective way to show someone that you value and appreciate them.

Be specific: Rather than giving a general compliment like "you're great," try to be specific about what you appreciate or admire about the person. For example, "I really appreciate your attention to detail in your work" or "I love how thoughtful you are, thank you for always checking in on me – it doesn’t go unnoticed!"

Focus on what you genuinely appreciate about the other person. 

Connect with Coach Carey

Self-care is one of your go-to tools for confidence, what does your self-care routine look like?

It depends on the day. My must-haves are affirmations, meditation, and movement. This is integral to my self-care routine. Then, I figure out the vibe of the day and listen to myself. What does self-care look like for me today? Do I need to be by the water today? Do I need to reach out to a friend? Do I stay in & journal? I play it by ear but I always make sure to keep affirmations, meditation & movement top of mind. 

Do you have a favorite inspirational quote/affirmation?

I have both! My favourite affirmation, and something I frequently use in my meditations: I see you, Raia, I honour you, Raia, I love you, Raia. I say my name after these as a reminder of the love I have for myself. I encourage you to try it and replace my name with yours! 

My go-to quote is something I’ve kept close to my heart for decades: “Embrace where you are today in life, knowing it's not where you have to stay.” - Raia 'Coach' Carey
What's your go-to mood-boosting song?

Forever by KOI, Good Days by SZA. Two absolute BANGERS that I play whenever I need to dance it out — and I dance it out… a LOT!

The Gee May Playlist

Here's to Mental Health Awareness Month!



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